How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie emphasis of many aspects of communication. If you are struggling with confidence, or you think your morals need improvement. This classic by Dale Carnegie, often recommended by many successful individuals would be your ideal choice.
Now the book is completely circled around communication, leadership, role model, and morals. Likewise, there are a lot of good points. However, my personal favourite points were related to Arguments, General Behaviour and Co-Operation.
“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures bristling with prejudice and motivated by pride and vanity.”Dale Carnegie
The most notable advice was that we should start giving other people a sincere Importance. When the other person feels important, he will like you. Therefore, Instead of telling your wife, your day was excellent and stuff. Why don’t you ask her how did her day go? Perhaps give her some importance. Small factors like these will make you look less selfish and more down to earth person.
“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”Dale Carnegie
Another important aspect of communication is argument. Nowadays, everybody is having an argument or furious conversation. Similarly, everyone attempt’s to empower their point/beliefs on someone else. Dale Carnegie in his book “How Win Friends and Influence People” instructs us that we should never argue. As per him, arguments never have happy ending.
What you ought to do rather, is that you should try to understand the opposite person’s point. We all are different. Even two brothers born from same mother are different. Therefore, always keep in mind that everyone has a different perspective. On the other hand, when you are sharing your point, consistently state “As I would see it”. Henceforth, you are simply sharing your perspective and not forcing your beliefs on someone else.
“Any fool can criticize, complain, and condemn—and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.”Dale Carnegie
Moreover, Dale Carnegie also teaches us that we should never ever criticize anyone. If someone is doing something wrong, we should simply ignore him. Secondly, he also recommends becoming a good listener. How often have you noticed, that people who interrupt someone between conversion are annoying to have around? Now consider yourself, are you doing that? If so, kindly stop it and become a good listener.
“Talk to someone about themselves, and they’ll listen for hours.”Dale Carnegie
Apart from being a great communicator and talker. The book also instructs us how to be a great leader. If you are a leader, and you have some people below your ranks. Always ask them how did their day go. Never criticize their decision, and likewise always appreciate what they did. Further, Instead of giving them direct orders, gently ask them if they would like to do that task. On the other hand, if something went wrong. Take full responsibility for the mistake and never blame anyone.
In Short, “How to Win Friends and Influence People” By Dale Carnegie is perhaps one of the greatest books on Communication. The book teaches us how to improve your morals, become a good leader, and most importantly make people like you. I only discussed 5% of the entire book. There is a lot of key knowledge that you shouldn’t miss on.