We all have that one friend we have not heard from in a long time. Maybe not all of us, but most of us.
For some reason, we have forgotten them, or we haven’t simply felt the need to reach out to them.
I had a personal experience with that.
Sometime last month, I reached out to a friend I had not heard from in a long time.
She tried to conserve her anger, but a while later, she burst out. Why hadn’t I reached out all the while? Hadn’t seen always been just a call away? We had after all been friends for a really long time so why had I not called her earlier?
She felt some type of way about the whole thing and she went on to explain her assumptions and depictions from it all.
Although none of that was true, I realized that honestly, she did have a point. I should have reached out more often- and earlier.
I should have been more available to know what was up with her.
But as much as I was at fault, she had to understand that we were riding in boat of blame.
Communication is a two-sided affair. It’s an ebb and flow. A game of tennis with two people on different sides of the court.
If people don’t reach out to you, why don’t you reach out to them. Put a call through. You have no idea what strains they’re under.
Effective communication begins with understanding your friends’ reasons for not reaching out to you. Their mind is as occupied as yours has been. They are tied to responsibilities that consume the best of their time.
These are wild probabilities and speculations, but the message here is simple.
Don’t let your pride get in the way of reaching out to your friends. All those toxic quotes that if they don’t reach out for some time, then they don’t care at all only teach you wrong.
Give your friends grace. For all you know, they could be going through hell. It is your duty to embrace them no matter how long it’s been.
Things might have been really rough for them. They might be so preoccupied with their own affairs to put a call through to you. Or not!
Either way, don’t judge your friends for not reaching out. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Hear them out. Your ears might be their salvation. Your tongue, the words you speak, might be a glimmer of light that pulls them out of their dark experiences.
So reach out!
Think about that person- friend, family member, niece- you have not heard from in a long time?!
Call them! And don’t blame them for the distance.
Now, I reach out to that friend of mine every weekend. We don’t say much, but we’re good.